We sat at a cozy, small table in a warm nook by the restaurant’s front window, overlooking the Lexington town green where, in a little over two months, we will gather to remember shouts and shots fired that began the American war of rebellion in 1775. Our bi-monthly dinner. Two business owners. Longtime friends.

As we surrendered our menus and settled to await our food, my companion stretched back in her chair, smiled, and said, “You know, Ralph Waldo Emerson [the American Transcendental philosopher who lived about 8 miles from our restaurant seats] was reputed to ask his friends, ‘What has become clear to you since last we met?’ So, I’m curious, Mr. Nick: What has become clear to you, these past two months?”

This, you may notice, sets a different conversation than, say, “How do you think the election will turn out?” or “How has your business been?” or even the “What’s new?”

“What has become clear to you since last we met?” Despite having lived 30 years at 4 miles distance from Emerson’s Concord house and walked the very lanes he walked, I had never heard his greeting.

The easy rhythm of his inquiry belies the sharp point of his question.

I laughed, self-consciously, then silently stared at my plate for a minute, playing Emerson’s question over and over. “What has become clear to you since last we met?”

I’ll spare you my response, an insight that would take us down a long path unsuited for our Monday gathering. The following discussion, deep and rich, evolved and turned for almost a half hour. When we’d finished, I took a long sip of water and returned her favor: “And, what, dear Deborah, has become clear for you?”

A ninety minute dinner conversation. Two questions.

We declined our host’s gracious offer of coffee or dessert. Pity, we stopped short of the inquiry’s obverse: “What has become LESS clear to you since last we met?”

Perhaps a discrete choice: There’s more that’s LESS clear to me than MORE.

As bankers, or attorneys, or advisors of other ilks, we seek to understand our client’s journeys – their aspirations, their goals, their capacity for thought and awareness, their discoveries – as context for their challenges some of which we might help them address. Whether we choose Emerson’s path to their less clear or more, our discoveries and opportunities to engage them increase proportionately to their disclosures.

“What has become clear to you since last we met?”

Read more about Ralph Waldo Emerson at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ralph_Waldo_Emerson

Client Engagement Manager

Position Summary:        

• Organize, lead, and manage implementation of Clarity’s client performance improvement and training projects involving multiple client and Clarity team members and work streams.

• Develop client relationships and identify opportunities to provide additional services.

Essential Functions/Responsibilities:

• Works with client and Clarity sales team members to define best implementation strategies for training and organizational change.

• Assists Clarity sales team members to develop client proposals.

• Serves as the primary Clarity client interface and project leader from project onset until completion.

• Identifies and executes effective ways to engage client coaches and leaders.

• Schedules, leads, and represents Clarity at project meetings with client including kick-off meetings, mid-project reviews, and end of project reviews.

• Identifies opportunities to provide additional services to clients.

Required Skills/Experience:

• Retail, small business, or commercial banking industry experience/knowledge.

• Formal education or job-based training in principles of adult learning, training program design, organizational change management.

• Minimum 5-7 years of project management experience implementing training programs, organizational change initiatives, or introduction of new systems or tools.

• Proven ability and willingness to manage multiple projects and tasks as well as prioritize with minimal supervision in a fast paced changing environment.

• Independent and self-reliant, ready to work in a small business.

• Ability to attend to detail work and administration.

• Proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel and Outlook.

• Ability to work well with all levels of client team members.

Physical Requirements:

• Ability to travel (50%)
• Able to lift and carry for short distances suitcases or boxes of training or other materials weighing 20 – 40 pounds.

Resumes, recommendations, and inquiries go to  nickmiller@clarityadvantage.com.

“How do I get across?”  he called out.

I was walking one of the side trails in the woods close to my home in Concord, Massachusetts. A warm December day. The normally frozen ground was soft and the spring-fed creek was a bit wider than usual with water-soaked ground on either side.

There was no obvious way. He was with his family – one of his parents (I’m guessing), a couple of young children,  and a dog, looking to complete the circuit trail around the pond that’s the centerpiece of the Woods, coming from the opposite direction.

From my side of the creek I could see that, short of walking his mother and his children through mud and water up to their boot tops, there was no way.  Stumped, as it were.  My friend and I turned and retraced our steps back the other way.  The family on the opposite side did the same.

That moment and his question, “How do I get across?”, describes a moment many of us reach in networking events when we meet someone new.  We start up some small talk – sports is a good topic this time of year in Boston – and then we get to “that moment” when a transition to more substantive conversation might be useful and we find ourselves wondering, “How do I get across” to the more substantive conversation, and saying, “Well, it was great talking to you,” and moving on in search of more solid, dry ground.

In the woods, we might (with great effort, lacking any tools) have shifted a downed tree or limb to bridge the bog. In conversation, with less effort, we can bridge with a question to learn something more interesting and (we hope) identify something about our conversation partner that might lead to mutual interest in continuing discussion at another time or, at least, recalling our conversation with pleasure the next time we meet.

“What question?”, one might ask, “to use as the bridge?”

Well, it depends. In a networking meet-and-greet, our main objective is to CONNECT with the people standing before us by either genuinely or disingenuously showing interest in them. (We are reminded of George Burns’ point, “When you learn [to fake sincerity], you’ve got it made.”  But, never mind.]

So, to make this conversational bridge, we can either go “with” the flow of conversation or “against” the flow.  Let’s say we’re small-talking about the New England Patriots and their upcoming Super Bowl appearance.

A “with the flow” bridge might sound like, “It sounds like the Patriots are a VERY important part of your life. How did you become so interested in professional football or the Patriots in particular?”  The answer to this question will probably give us some clues about other parts of our conversation partner’s life about which we can ask questions and deepen the conversation.

An “against the flow” bridge might sound something like, “It sounds like the Patriots are a VERY important part of your life. What’s the day job you do to support your professional football habit?”  This clearly signals, “OK, I’m finished with football, what else have you got?”  to our conversation partner.  The bridge is rooted in football and goes another direction.  Again, the answer to this question will probably give us some clues about other parts of our conversation partner’s life about which we can ask questions and deepen the conversation.

Once the conversational question bridge is down and we’re across, we can continue to explore their priorities, their point of view, their take on the world.  Questions like “What do you like about that?” or “How did you decide to do X instead of Y at that point?” or “Why are you doing X instead of Y? “  can be very helpful in elevating the conversation over the deepening mud of small talk so that, at the end of the discussion, we have a solid  foundation for conversation at a later time.

Title: New Beginnings – Strategic Conversations with Clients and Prospects for the New Year

Time: 12:00 PM ET (30 minutes)

Fee: Complimentary

Host: Nick Miller, President of Clarity Advantage

Intended Audience:  small business banking leaders, small business bankers, branch managers, heads of retail and small business, heads of client experience, heads of small business strategy

REGISTER NOW

Webinar Description:

Oh, my, our heads are spinning!  The end-of-year/beginning-of-the-year dust is settling.  The Republican presidential hopefuls head to the primaries. The optimistically upward flutterings in some sectors of the U.S. economy are overshadowed by the potential financial wipeout in the European Union, the tip of which is visible on the horizon.  For example, what happens to U.S. exports or imports if French banks collapse under the weight of a Greek withdrawal from the EU?

What ever could we find to talk to our clients and prospects about as the reality of 2012 settles in? 

In this brilliantly packed, deftly delivered 30-minute webinar, Nick Miller, President of Clarity Advantage will discuss:

• The critical importance of the strategic conversation to our roles as bankers and consultants.
• The structure for the strategic conversation business owners want to have with their bankers.
• How to prepare for the conversation using industry information and financial statement information.
• How to get into the conversation.
• How to engage in the conversation EVEN IF you’re not a strategy consultant.
• How to respond to the never-welcome, monosyllabic, grunt answer or “Gosh, I don’t know. What do you think?”
• (And, last but not least) How to get out of the conversation, whether it’s going well or poorly.

REGISTER NOW

Have colleagues who may be interested in attending?  Use the “share” buttons below to spread the word!

“Why did you come to the Emergency Room?” I was asked.

I pointed. “My right knee.”

Knee wrapped in an ace bandage, I right-leg-stiff lurched into a local hospital emergency room, then waited….

… until finally I was directed to a treatment room and Dr. Fredericks.

“Sit up here”  Dr. Fredericks motioned to the examination table, dead center in the room. I hoisted myself onto the table.

“Take off the ace bandage, please.”

I did, then let my legs dangle off the side of the table, feet just above the floor.

Positioning himself just to my right, he bent forward, looked at my swollen knee, and poked at it with his index finger.

Still silent, he then grasped my right thigh just above the knee with his left hand while with his right hand he grasped my right ankle and PULLED MY ANKLE UP SHARPLY … so my right leg was now straight.

My vision went black for a moment. I took a sharp, deep breath.

“Where do you feel the pain?” he asked.

Regaining my vision, taking another deep breath, I pointed to all the places in my right knee where I felt pain.

The doctor then proceeded to push, pull, and rotate my lower leg, I suppose to test the stability of the knee. “Where do you feel the pain?” he asked again. I pointed.

When my leg did not break off in his hand, he pronounced that I would be fine and that I should keep the knee wrapped, elevated, and iced for a day or so. And he stepped out to see his next patient.

I later came to call this diagnostic moment “The Coma Test” as in, “If I didn’t go into a coma when he jerked my leg around, I must be fine.”

Maybe it’s just me, and when I hear salespeople ask, “Where do you feel the pain?” I am reminded of the Coma Test and prompted to take a deep breath.

“Where do you feel the pain?” or “Where does it hurt?” are important diagnostic questions in any medical exam. They are old questions, probably asked for the first time several thousand years ago. In the medical context, they’re just as fresh and important now as they were then.

However, in the modern financial services sales world, “Where do you feel the pain?” sounds several thousand years old. Tired. Overused. Trite. A remnant of times in which slick-haired salespeople “administered pain” or “amplified pain” and then provided relief – their products.

The first question the doctor asked me, “Why did you come into the Emergency Room today?” was a great question.  We can use that question when we begin sales calls – “What led you to meet with me today?” or “What would you like to accomplish in our meeting today?”

After that, better to abandon the “pain” tactic, instead to ask more engaging questions like, “What are you concerns about …?” or  “Where is performance falling short of expectations?” or “Where do you feel you’re spending more than you should?”

When we use the “pain” approach, we never know… Some old grump may start to tell us about bursitis or sciatica… and it’s a long way back from there to a corporate payment cycle or cash flow challenges.

So… I was  enjoying a perfectly good conversation with another business owner I’d just met, discussing how our firms had evolved, similarities and differences in our experience, and so on.  And, then he asked me:

“What keeps you up at night?”

The real answer, for me, is “Not much.”   Since the kids are out of the house and since my wife the nurse doesn’t “take call” for patients,   I sleep just fine, thank you very much.

And, the question, “What keeps you up at night?”  is just a downer because it’s an unimaginative, bottom-dragging (think fishing nets here) question that  calls up emotions and memories from times when family or business worries  DID disturb my sleep, or that I lay awake waiting for a 3:00 am wake up call, or that I couldn’t sleep because someone in the house was coughing.  Just  bummer stuff.

Hot-coals walking / Peak Performance coaching Tony Robbins once wrote, “If you ask a lousy question, you will get a lousy answer, and a lousy emotional state.”

“What keeps you up at night?” is an example of such a lousy question. I wanted to say to my business-owning conversation partner, “Can’t you do any better than that?”

If we’re really interested in our clients’ nocturnal subconscious deliberations… Far better to ask questions that touch more directly the points we’d like to hear, which might go something like…in no particular order…

• “What uncertainties in your clients (or your suppliers, or your employees) are you watching most closely?”
• “How will you know things are going to go one way versus another?”
• “How could you hedge your bets so that you could be OK whichever way it goes?
• “What sorts of resources will you need to hedge or prepare?”
• “What decisions are you delaying or are affected by the uncertainties?”

Or, from a more positive direction:

• “What changes to your business are you thinking about?”
• “What are the issues on which you’re thinking ‘maybe I could do this’ or ‘maybe I could do that?”
• “What’s difficult about those decisions?”
• “What factors are you weighing?”
• “What are the points for and against each side of the argument?”

These questions focus the conversation more clearly than “What keeps you up at night?” without any of the attached baggage.  Second, the questions demonstrate some awareness of how business leaders think and process information. Not a bad thing if one is attempting to sell them or advise them.

Tending to the seriously ill is not for sissies as any of us who are parents or healthcare workers or spouses of health care workers or clergy can attest. As hours turn to days, the daily routine draws enormous reserves of energy and, despite multiple family members’ involvement, wears out the family care team. People get a little jumpy.

Behold the entrance of visiting nurses.  We were visited by three different nurses during the space of Christmas week. (I came to refer to them as Christmases Past, Present, and Future, but never mind, that would make me Scrooge, and that’s a longer story).

We were grateful and delighted to see them, wonderful care givers all,  yet… they arrived LOUD.  While their cars eased silently into our driveway, their voices boomed “hellos” and “how are things goings” as they crossed the threshold. At each entrance, all but the closest-to-door family member scattered like mice fleeing arriving cats. Eyes rolling, we’d creep back to connect with the nurse and discuss the situation.

Contrast this with the Concord Fire Department’s entrance.  There was a point at which we needed help…. FAST… so we called for EMTs.  They showed up (in two trucks in six minutes, mind you) sans sirens (happily), truck lights blazing. Five burley guys at the door… and you could barely hear them when they came into the house. Footsteps muffled by rubber shoe soles, greeting voices soft, movements fluid, questions focused.

Ministrations successful, they retreated to their bright-lit conveyances.  We family members looked at each other in amazement. “Who would have thought…?”

Best case, we’re visiting clients who are healthy, perhaps even vigorous and robust – muffled shoes and soft greetings not expected. However, big voiced, supremely confident, finger crushing, ‘I’m in charge” entrances may not be the best, either.

For us, as with the visiting nurses and Concord EMTs, there’s a two-second “upon entrance” moment to assess “the vibe” in the room and either align with it (create  rapport – relationship marked by harmony,  conformity, or affinity) or consciously break it.  Unless we’re REALLY skilled at rapport breaking and consciousness changing, the best bet is to “align” – establish rapport, glide with the clients at their speed for a bit –  then lead them to a different pace.

P.S.  All is well now at our house, all is as it should be.   Happy New Year to all!

 “She was mean,” reported my daughter, describing her experience with a physician, not her own, on a recent visit.

“Why do you say,” I asked?

“She didn’t really care about me. It was all very matter of fact.”

Hmmm. Reminds me of my own experience with a sales person who came to see us a few months ago. My conclusion, after the sales person left, was, “I don’t think she understands us.” And, for the same reason, more or less.

The conversation was professional…but very matter of fact – “how did your company develop to this point, who are your clients, what are your annual sales, how much do you keep in your accounts, how do you make your payments, what challenges do you experience there, what would you like to change about….,” and so on – to gather information she needed to make a recommendation. All good.

The part of “us” she didn’t understand was the emotional part – the highs and lows – that, to business owners (or, at least, to THIS business owner), is the most powerful.

Suppose there were a time in the very early days of a prospect’s business that the business ran out of cash because a major customer put a project on hold.

As bankers, we might observe, “That must have been challenging” and ask, “What did you do at that point?”

The prospect might answer, “I sold a car so we could pay our vendors.”

And then as bankers, we might (with respect for the business owner’s commitment to pay vendors) ask, “And then what happened?” to which the prospect might respond, “We reduced staff hours until we sold some additional work… and then we started growing.”

And we might say, “Well done” and ask, “How have you prevented such significant cash shortfalls from happening again?” And so on.

All good, yes? Except…

We’d have missed the temples-pounding, stomach-churning heart of the moment.

We might instead have taken a deep breath, paused, and said, “That must have been terrifying!” and asked, “What was that like for you, when that happened?” Or we might have asked, “How did that moment affect you?” Both questions touch the emotional side of a very challenging moment – the feeling part, rather than the ‘doing’ part.

Similar statements or questions include “What was the hardest part of that for you?”, “How did that experience change the way you…?”, and “That must have been very rough, you know, inside.”

For brighter moments, there are questions like, “What was the best part of that for you?” or “You must have felt high as a kite after that.”

For both good moments and bad, we can still ask questions about facts and decisions – “And then what did you do?” or “How have you addressed that challenge more recently?” They are important questions.

But… we’ll have missed the REALLY important stuff if we don’t ask about the emotional impact of a low or a high moment in the business. Whether or not our prospects and clients share their experiences, they will recognize and remember that we asked.

So….  A funny and wrenching moment in the December 10 Republican Presidential Debate. About a third of the way through,   Governor Romney summarized his view of the Massachusetts health care plan model and President Obama’s plan. After a brief historical perspective from Speaker Gingrich, Governor Perry said:

PERRY:  I’m listening to you, Mitt, and you’re saying all the right things, but  I read your first book and it said in there that your mandate in Massachusetts should be the model for the country. I know it came out of the reprint of the book but, you know, I’m just saying you’re for individual mandates, my friend.

ROMNEY (frustrated): You know what? You’ve raised that before Rick. And,uh,  you’re still wrong.

PERRY: It was true then (laughs)  and it’s true now.

ROMNEY: Rick (laughs, extends his hand), I’ll tell you what.  $10,000 bucks?  A  $10,000 dollar bet?  [Bet refers to whether Perry’s account of Romney’s book is correct.]

PERRY: (Pause)  I’m not in the betting business.

“I’m not in the betting business.” This is the situation in which we find ourselves when we’re advocating a particular solution or product to a client or prospect….and they’re not getting it – they’re not going with us. So we find ourselves saying, “Look, I’ll tell you what, why don’t you run a pilot or  try it for 90 days, and you’ll see that you’ll get the result that I’m telling you you’ll get.”

And the client/prospect responds, “No.”

And, in the three seconds of silence that follows the client’s response, we think, “What? Are you joking? Are you that risk averse that you would say no to a free trial to get better results?”

And the client’s response, also internally, in those three seconds is, “What? Are you joking? Do you have any idea about what even a pilot might do in this company? I’m not in the betting business.”

Two thoughts (without comment about Governor Romney’s debate tactics):

First, as sales people interested in making  sales, we tend to minimize upheaval, diversion of resources, distractions, rumors, mixed messages, and disruption that accompany a free pilot or free trial of anything significant.

We see “try it, it’s easy, you’ll love it.”  The client sees, “This could be great, but I can’t tolerate the disruption. If it takes more than 10 minutes, I’m not interested.”

Second, when we’re pitching a solution or a pilot, it’s useful to remember Mack Hannan’s three client questions about value: How much value will the client realize?  How sure is that value? How soon does the client earn the value?

Almost every client we work with is in the betting business to some extent. Hannan’s three questions frame the business bet.   The question is, “What’s their risk tolerance?” and “How much disruption can they tolerate to make change?”

Offering a pilot or free trial to a client is one way to draw out a prospect’s or client’s risk tolerance.

That said, better to have figured out the client’s comfort with risk and return before formally proposing a pilot. Whether the product is Remote Deposit Capture, contact management software, or a marketing program, we can guide the conversation something like:

• If you were to implement something like this, what people or processes would have to change inside the company?
• What would be your concerns?
• Which of those concerns would you find tolerable?  Which not?
• So, let’s think together to see whether we could reduce those risks.
• Now, let’s look at the up-side. What do you see as the most important gains from piloting or implementing an approach like this?
• OK let’s think about ways to amplify those up-sides.

This conversation will help the client and us frame a pilot or a trial or an implementation so that they are in the betting business but it’s a bet they can tolerate.

To listen, visit http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/positioning-value/id486833977.